Twisted

      Past experiences haunt people like ghosts. Memories turn grown people into the scared little kid who is scared of the monster under the bed. Constant fear and anticipation of something going drastically wrong. Things people went through before give them pessimistic predictions about what may happen today. Sadness and pain, haunting images, trust issues, and loss of faith. All side effects of a bad experience. One negative moment can turn into a lifetime of suffering. 

      Twisted by Laurie Halse Anderson is a book about a troubled teenage boy, Tyler, who believes the world is out to get him, and nothing in his life is worth the pain he goes through. His father is a corporate man with anger issues who cares a little too much about his job and a little too little about his son. His mother on the other hand is a loving person who drowns her sorrow in alcohol, and hasn't been there for him when a mother would know it's necessary. Because of the lack of love Tyler feels at home, he loses faith in everything good about his life. The idea that no one loves or cares about him becomes what he preaches, and he loses all faith in the people who have the power of showing him they care. Anderson describes Tyler's turmoil vividly, and never lets the fact that he doesn't believe slip through the reader's fingers. At one point in the book, Tyler portrays the moment his father slaps him in rage, and instead of being furious or feeling violated by his dad, he narrates the way he almost knew it was coming. Like he knew what to expect from his business oriented father. This loss of faith in the man who is supposed to love him more than anyone is incredible for anyone reading this book, seeing as no one should ever expect such emotional, as well as physical pain, to be inflicted on themselves from a loved one. Although, this is indeed one of the many cases in which Tyler narrates his lack of belief in happy, wholesome experiences, due to the unfortunate circumstance of being tortured with an unstable home environment.

      Trust. Something many will say is the most important element in human relationships. A family is not a family without it. A marriage is not a marriage without it. A friendship is not a friendship without it. No one has the power to substitute the importance of trust for anything different. Pain takes away trust, giving people a reason to rid themselves of any relationship that may hurt them in the future. Although strong relationships don't exist without risk, and cannot be maintained without trust. When one hurts another, the one who has been put in a position of agony doesn't want to risk getting hurt again. People believe that if they trust no one, they can't be put through bad experiences again. In Twisted, Tyler has the most difficult time opening up to people, because he doesn't believe people are capable of giving him a good life. Holding onto negative memories when someone put you through Hell makes it incredibly easy to not believe in anyone. Humans don't enjoy suffering, nothing does, so we're programmed to run away from things that may hurt us. That includes our kin. Gazelles running from lions. Flies escaping the deadly allure of a black widow. Humans fleeing in the face of pain. Tyler has had pain inflicted on him by those he loves in the past, and so he no longer has trust in those around him. People distance themselves because they have no hope that they'll ever be able to trust again. Intense emotional suffering makes it impossible for people to trust in the future. The terror of being hurt overrides the need for the comfort of healthy relationships with other people.

      Harmful experiences in the past are what makes emotionally distant people have the lack in faith and trust that they have today, and it's hard to let go of them. Just like insults linger in your heart more than compliments do, bad memories stay in your mind longer than positive ones. When it comes to human psychology, pain is a stronger emotion than love. Because Tyler doesn't have a good foundation of positive memories from his messed up childhood, it's incredibly difficult for him to let go of the past and enjoy his life in the present day. He's constantly haunted by the ghost of his past. Never able to rid himself of the beatings his father gave him, the days his mom was too drunk to leave her bed and talk to him about the torture he received from his other classmates. Tyler is unable to leave behind what happened to him, and move forward with his life, because he is too afraid of what may happen. His life has become a whirlwind of missed opportunities, all because of how pessimistic his life has made him.

      Many people will say pasts are what makes people who they are today. I cannot agree with that more. Although, I do not believe that memories always have a positive impact. Some people's entire futures are ruined by things that have happened to them in previous chapters of their lives. Memories are haunting. Past experiences haunt people. They lose faith and trust, two things that people need. Laurie Halse Anderson is brilliantly skilled in the art of connecting people to their pain, and being able to display exactly how it makes them who they are today. 

Girls in Society

Being a girl in our world is incredibly difficult, especially in a society that only accepts girls who are and look a certain way. Of needing to look a certain way and act like someone you aren't are two of the very unrealistic expectations America has for women today. In order to be fully accepted in society a girl needs to be drop dead gorgeous, with a carefree "whatever" kind of personality. The idea that girls need to fit these expectations to a tee in order to impress and prove themselves worthy to boys is one of the many things wrong with our generation. Many girls find themselves addicted to the idea they are only good enough when boys tell them they are. All of these concepts displayed and taught by a materialistic culture are incredibly damaging to a girl's self esteem, as well as the way she interacts with other people. Society brainwashes girls into thinking they need to present themselves to boys and have those boys judge their self worth. America puts girls on a pedestal that they can never climb down from.

The text Loose Girl: A Memoir of a Promiscuous Girl, written by Kerry Cohen, is a memoir about a girl, Kerry, who is trying to find herself in a society just like I described. Being a girl myself, and growing up in a mostly female family, I can clearly see the ways in which these materialistic beliefs on what girls should be is harmful for women all around me. By allowing these ideas to control how we feel about ourselves is allowing ourselves to be brainwashed and changed to fit the assumption we should be a certain way. Because this book is indeed a memoir, it makes it much easier for the reader to connect to Kerry, and learn from the things Kerry went through in the story. Girls can relate to Kerry, because a large part of being a girl is feeling like you need to live up and prove yourself to society, and perfectly match up with our misogynistic world's unrealistic standards for women. The main message conveyed through her own experiences in Kerry Cohen's memoir is how messed up society is today.

For example, in middle and high school a common trend among boys is rating girls based on physical attributes they possess. As seen in her memoir, Kerry will go out with two friends, and guys will point out certain things one girl might have that Kerry doesn't. Things she lacks physically that she cannot control without injecting plastic into her body. She narrates her own thoughts when a boy she likes will pay more attention to one of her friends because her friend closely resembles the images boys think make a perfect girl. At one point in the book, Kerry says something about how not looking like a supermodel makes boys not want to look at her at all. How her interactions with guys has become more about what size pants she wears and less about the fact she's been accepted to three different world class writing programs.  Through the tones and imagery used in the book, a girl reading it can feel Kerry's pain when she's talking to an insensitive, slimy boy who lowers her value by taking away the importance of her intelligence. Objectifying her for her body, and excluding the fantastic abilities of her mind. It shows the reader that this is not okay. Girls don't deserve to only be worth half of what they are, they don't deserve to have their body be worth more than their mind. The way Kerry Cohen discusses her own repulsion of these tendencies is an eye opener for people everywhere who are reading her book. Anyone can see exactly how girls feel about the ways boys treat them. Uncomfortable, worthless, unimportant, self conscious. Adjectives that no one should ever be described as. But because of the values expressed in Loose Girl, girls begin to refer to themselves in those terms. 

Additionally, Kerry Cohen uses her past experiences as a lesson. A way to teach young girls they don't need boys to be confident. Throughout the story, Kerry throws her dignity and self esteem out the window in order to feel like she's loved. She diminishes herself to get the attention the attention of boys, because without them telling her she's good enough, without society telling her she's good enough, she doesn't feel good enough. A feeling many girls go through today. Something no girl deserves to feel. Although, by the end of the book, Kerry has realized that she is sick and done with the way society allows boys to make her feel so incredibly bad about herself. I feel as if through this revelation, the author is trying to convey the thesis of the book. The idea that girls need to realize this as well. The entire purpose of Kerry Cohen's literary explorations was to give girls a reason as to why they should stop putting up with the way pop culture treats them. Society has a hypnotic spell over women, and when Kerry realizes she should stop allowing America to define who she is and what she wants to do with her life, Kerry Cohen is breaking that spell for all of her female readers. 

In conclusion, this issue is critical for people everywhere to understand. Society makes women and girls alike believe they aren't good about themselves because they don't perfectly fit the unrealistic standards men hold them to. Although we cannot blame men for the cause of girls lack in belief of themselves. Pop culture and the images and ideas it casts off makes girls and women feel worthless, just because they don't look like the model on the cover of Vogue. As a teenager, I've been through and I've witnessed many of my closest friends go through the issues shown in Kerry Cohen's memoir. But I, along with girls everywhere, can learn from the mistakes she's made in the book. Kerry Cohen uses her book as a lesson. A way to synthesize the idea that girls are good enough as they are. A way to teach that the part of society that makes girls feel this was is fundamentally wrong.